Pray for us Now and at the Hour of our Death. Amen!

Walking with someone through the last moments of their life is a fairly rare occurrence, unless you're a priest that is. Death does not always give due notice and so it often catches many by surprise although, paradoxically, it is one of those very few things in life we know will happen. Perhaps we will be able to say that final goodbye to one of our parents or loved ones but certainly not all of them. It is the "when" that catches us by surprise, of course, not death itself. And so it is a special grace for the one dying and their loved ones to have some proximate warning that he or she is dying so as to prepare as best as one can.

How many times have we prayed to Mary: "pray for us now and at the hour of our death"? She certainly assists us now and will do so at the hour of our death whether this comes suddenly and without warning or is somewhat anticipated. Nonetheless, what a blessing it is to have the grace to prepare oneself to meet Christ face to face at the moment of death. I would like to share just one of those moments with you.

On a day not long ago I received 2 messages within a very short amount of time. Written on red paper to indicate a "sick call" I looked at them and they were both said urgent "not sure how long he will live". I went to the first house. It was man I had anointed about 6 weeks earlier. I remembered him because there was something very dignified yet simple about him. He didn't have the sophisticated look of a rich man but of a man full of virtue. As the message indicated, he didn't look well. His eyes were half open at best. He sat in his chair noticeably uncomfortable as he repeatedly tried to reposition himself although he didn't have the strength even to budge. He slowly mumbled out the words that he was dying. When I asked him how he felt when he thought about dying he said "happy". This wasn't the "happy" of a desperate or bitter man who had given up his struggle to fight on. Rather, his was a "happy" of man who knew where, or rather, to Whom he was going. I didn't need to ask him to explain.

As I prepared to administer the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, probably his last time, I told him not to worry about making the sign of the cross or trying to say the responses. Instead, "your heart can do the talking", I told him. His care giver was in the room, a woman in her 40's. I began: "The grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you". After a pause, he gathered up his energy and breathed out "and also with you". I wasn't about to tell not to talk. I spoke to him about the grace of the sacrament, how it was Christ himself who was lying hands on him and anointing him through me. I mentioned that all of his sin were forgiven and through the prayer of Apostolic Pardon all debt due to sin loosed. In others words, our Lord had come to get him himself, maybe today maybe in 10 years but he's good and ready.

At the end of the rite of anointing I said "let us pray in the words Christ taught us". As I began the Our Father I realized he was once again gathering his strength to join his voice to mine. I waited and we slowly continued together and prayed the Our Father to our Father.

That is dying with dignity. It has nothing to do with the suffering, the tubes and the like, it has to do with the man connected to them.

I realized it had been a half hour and that I had another man gravely ill to anoint. I arrived at his house within 5 minutes and meet several people inside. Two of his daughters, 3 other younger relatives, a hospice worker, and nurse were waiting for me. I entered the room with the family, pulled up a chair next the man lying in his bed with his oxygen mask. His breathing was deep and intermittent. He was struggling to breath, gasping. It didn't take a medical degree to realize death was quickly approaching.

I asked the family if their dad was responsive and they said "no", that he didn't make any physical movements or reactions to their words. I told them that while his body may not be responding he very well might be quite conscious nonetheless. Sitting in the chair next to the man I held his hand and introduced myself to him. "Hi, 'Jim', I am Fr. Brendan from Our Lady of Guadalupe Church and I have to come anoint you and prepare you for God." Then, I invited the family to participate with me in praying the Rite of Anointing of the Sick. All of us slowly and solemnly made the sign as if we were learning how for the first time. I turned to the side and greeted the Italian family who energetically responded "And also with you". Next I encouraged the dying man and the family to join me in calling to mind our sins and ask for God's mercy. Once again they actively responded..."Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy".

...And the man stopped breathing.

The daughters let out a big sigh. "Oh my God, he stopped breathing" As they called in the nurse I immediately stood up, leaned over the man and anointed him while praying the formula of anointing: Through this holy anointing, may our Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit. Amen. So that freed from sin he may save you and raise you us. Amen" Just then the nurse rushed in, listed to his heart with her stethoscope and gave me that infamous look you see on TV where they just shake their head once very slowly without saying anything.

The first thing I remember hearing from one of the daughters is "Thank you, thank you Jesus". The other daughter then echoed the same prayer. I understood. This was exactly my first words when my grandma died. Perhaps their reasons were a little different than mine but I understood. The told me several times within the next 10 minutes how grateful they were that a priest come and anointed their father. I, in turn, thanked them for calling me. It was an emotional time for me too. I was caught up in it all myself.

I sat back down in the chair after the nurse noted the time of death and the initial shock of the family passed. Once again, I invited the family to continue to pray with me for their father. We continued with the beautiful prayers for the dead. It reminded me that death is a passage, something more profound and personal than the time of death. This was Jim's passover and we were going to join him as much as we could through prayer. We invoked the saints, we gave thanks, and commended to him to God.

What a beautiful death!

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen!